Today’s headlines are dominated by video of sniveling teenagers drawn from all ages, sexes and orientations bemoaning the allegedly imminent demise of Tik Tok, the Red Chinese social media platform; the truly uneducated among them describe this outrage as “Like, you know, censorship.” Nonsense, you spoiled, over-privileged toads!

With summer vacations in full swing, Americans typically focus their weekends on more important matters: mall excursions, pool cookouts and the epic confrontation between LSU and Florida in the Collegiate Word Series.