As a public service of www.MikeHuckabee.com, this song parody provides a quick primer or refresher course in the entire convoluted “Russian Collusion” yarn up to now, in a form anyone can sing along with. Lyrics and vocal are by award-winning retro jazz singer Laura Ainsworth (lauraainsworth.com), whose “day job” is writing topical humor, commentary and parody songs for radio, TV and the web.
To the best of our knowledge, all images are public domain, royalty-free clip art (thanks clipart-library.com), still captures from videos of news events or other images protected by Fair Use in a unique work of political satire. No copyright infringement is intended. No endorsement of the original creators of “American Pie” is implied. (Original writer: Don McLean; publisher: Songs of Universal, Inc. OBO Benny Bird Co., Inc.)
AMERICAN SPIES
A parody by Laura Ainsworth
A long, long time ago
Old J. Edgar Hoover liked to use the FBI to spy
And he thought it would be okay for him to wiretap MLK
He did it, but we found out by and by
And now we know that JFK did
And we can show that LBJ did
Then there’s Richard Nixon
So much that needed fixin’
The FBI went so insane
That they even bugged Goldwater’s plane
And now they’ve spied on Trump’s campaign
Can’t let...our freedom…die
So, bye-bye, you American spies
You were tailing and surveilling; we uncovered your lies
You thought you’d win and we would never be wise,
But Election Day would be a surprise
Election Day would be a surprise
Did Steele write the dossier, and did Brennan at the CIA
Leak it all to Harry Reid?
Now did you assume that Trump would lose
Did you think Hillary would choose
To keep you with her? Was it all agreed?
Well, we know you were in love with “her” because
Strzok and Page were undeterred
They both ignored the rules
They were both behaving like fools
They were so lonely and so oversexed
They would get excited when they sent a text
But they couldn’t guess what happened next:
That Hillary would LOSE!
And now we’re singin’: Bye-bye, you American spies
You were tailing and surveilling; we uncovered your lies
You thought you’d win and we would never be wise
But Election Day would be a surprise
Election Day would be a surprise
So then Mike Flynn, he was out of luck
Got ambushed by Sally Yates and Strzok
And that’s not how it’s s’posed to be
Well, they spied upon the transition team
In a plan they borrowed from John Dean
And accused Mike Flynn of perjury
Oh, and Flynn agreed to take a deal
His “lying,” though, was never real
The courtroom was a joke
Mike Flynn, he was broke!
And while Brennan ranted on TV
And Comey lectured endlessly
We hoped and prayed we’d never see
The day...our freedom died
Now we’re singin’: Bye-bye, you American spies
You were tailing and surveilling; we uncovered your lies
You thought you’d win and we would never be wise
But Election Day would be a surprise
Election Day would be a surprise
Waiting, waiting, more investigating
And all inspired by the worst Trump-hating
Dems in Congress came unglued
And Mueller, he was out for blood
The leaking was more like a flood
With Acosta...in the press room...being rude
But Sarah Sanders joined the fray
She kept the howling press at bay
Acosta was a jerk
Oh, but it’s all in a day’s work!
And in Congress, they were in a tiff
Pelosi, Nadler, Adam Schiff
To jump off that impeachment cliff
It’s so amusing now
‘Cause now we’re singin’: Bye-bye, you American spies
You were tailing and surveilling; we uncovered your lies
You thought you’d win and we would never be wise
But Election Day would be a surprise
Election Day would be a surprise
Oh, and here we all are, learning more
What’s Sara Carter got in store?
And Solomon is way ahead ---- so come on,
–-- Tell the story, tell it quick
This thing has really made us sick
And liars need to pay for what they’ve said
Oh, the liars, they should all get sued
Americans did not “collude”
No, wait, that’s not quite true
‘Cause Hillary, it’s YOU!!!
And when we figure out the full extent
Of what you did, with full “intent”
We’ll wish you could finally be sent
To Rikers Island, too.
Now we’re singin’: Bye-bye, you American spies
You were tailing and surveilling; we uncovered your lies
You thought you’d win and we would never be wise
But Election Day would be a surprise
Election Day would be a surprise
Attorney Gen’ral William Barr, you’ll have to be our guiding star
‘cause you refuse to look away
You’ll dig into the FBI, and find out how they came to spy
On a man named Carter Page, who had no say
It may go higher than we dreamed
The liars lied, and the schemers schemed
Jeff Sessions was a token
While FISA laws were broken
That’s why Barr is back, to find out how,
Before he takes his final bow
And what he’ll tell us...holy cow
Our freedom almost died
But now we’re singin’: Bye-bye, you American spies
You were tailing and surveilling; we uncovered your lies
You thought you’d win and we would never be wise
But Election Day would be a surprise
Election Day would be a surprise
Now we’re singin’: Bye-bye, you American spies
You were tailing and surveilling; we uncovered your lies
You thought you’d win and we would never be wise
But Election Day would be a surprise
LA
©2019 Laura Ainsworth
Permalink: https://www.mikehuckabee.com/2019/7/american-spies-lyrics
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