The "Ziz" and the "Zat"

September 29, 2017 |

You've seen my commentary on the school librarian who wrote a letter to Melania Trump REJECTING HER GIFT of Dr. Seuss books, condemning the books for reinforcing stereotypes and generally being un-PC. Well, I'd like to bring to her attention a modified Dr. Seuss story that should win the PC crowd's all-important stamp of approval. Perhaps this version could be allowed in school libraries...

- Mike Huckabee

THE “ZIZ” AND THE “ZAT”

The sun did not shine
It was too wet to play
I sat in my room
With my tranny friend, Jaye

We couldn’t go out
So we thought of a game:
The gender-free pronouns
We’d both try to name!

I didn’t know any
But Jaye could recall
Hundreds of pronouns,
Reciting them all!

The first one Jaye had was,
“Sie! Sie! Sie! Sie!”
Jaye really liked that one,
Obviously!

But Jaye went right on
With “zie” and with “zim”
I didn’t know any
But “she,” “he” and “him.”

There’s “tey” and there’s “ve”
There’s “ter” and there’s “ver”
I didn’t know any
But “his,” “he” and “her”

There’s “sheesh” and there’s “hirsh”
And there’s “har,” “hor” and “hu”
Down Under, they even
Have “shishereeshoo”

There’s this and there’s that
There’s “ziz” and there’s “zat”
Whatever you want to
Pull out of your hat!

There’s “per” and there’s "pay”
And there’s “perz” and there’s “par”
There’s just the right pronoun
Whatever you are!

There’s “shar” and there’s “hez”
And there’s “hah” and there’s “ham”
(I kind of like “hah” But I DO NOT LIKE HAM)

We finished the game
Jaye wins and I fail
I’ll have to start learning
Or end up in jail

I’ll work and I’ll work
And with Jaye I will play
And one day we’ll take
All the “gender” away!

-Dr. Cis

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Comments 1-2 of 2

  • Cheryl K. Rayer

    10/01/2017 09:13 AM

    Very funny but truly sad!!

  • Nancy schaffer

    09/30/2017 12:19 PM

    There once was a guy Whose name was Mike
    Who could write a good poem and recite.
    He tried and he tried To bring to recall
    All the gender pronouns he could write