August 2, 2018

From the “No, This Isn’t The Onion” Desk: An Alberta, Canada, man wanted to buy a new car, but being a male in his early 20s with a spotty driving record, the insurance alone would have cost him $4500 a year.  So he lied on the paperwork, claimed he was a woman, and saved nearly $1100 on his car insurance.  But he feared he might be in trouble after he learned that he needed to change his driver’s license and birth certificate, and that required a doctor’s note. 

Luckily, he was “shocked but also relieved” to learn that under the new, "create your own reality," gender-identity laws, all he had to do was claim that he identified as a woman and that would make him a woman. The doctor wrote the letter and the government rubberstamped the change, no questions asked. 

The man/woman said he felt like he’d beaten the system, telling CBN News, "I'm a man, 100 percent. Legally, I'm a woman. I did it for cheaper car insurance."

Pretty clever, but I wonder if he’s considered that no matter how much he saves on car insurance by being a woman, he’ll end up spending more than that on higher dry cleaning bills.

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Important health bulletin: Doctors in China are warning that it’s a really bad idea to eat raw centipedes.  Dried or powdered centipedes are used there in traditional medicines, but a mother and son were hospitalized (the reason is too gross to repeat, but click the link if you must know) after eating raw centipedes.  A doctor said some people boil them in teas or pickle them in wine to use as home remedies, but “In my opinion, it would be rude to tell the customer, ‘Don’t eat them raw. It would say the customer is stupid.”

Perish the thought!  But before you mock the Chinese for having to be told not to eat raw centipedes, consider that I recently saw a TV commercial touting the new child-proof container for Tide Pods.  The ad suggested that it’s to protect babies, but we all know most babies are too smart to eat a Tide Pod.  Be honest: that packaging is to keep teenagers with YouTube accounts from eating them, isn't it?  Although after hearing after this story, they’ll probably switch to eating raw centipedes.


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