A contributor of mine who prefers to remain anonymous is also a singer and song parodist whose work has been heard on radio stations around the world. She’s been so inspired by the sudden political success of newly-hatched congressional candidate and socialist airhead Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez that she decided to immortalize her in a parody of Rodgers & Hammerstein’s “A Cock-Eyed Optimist” from the musical SOUTH PACIFIC. If you’re not familiar with the tune, here’s a link to the original song as performed in the movie by actress Mitzi Gaynor (who did her own singing, by the way).
The new lyrics are below. In case you have trouble matching the lyrics to the tune, the downbeats are all in total caps and syllables are separated by hyphens. So share it with every capitalist you know, and sing out! The world is discovering just how poorly-informed Alexandria is. Let the backlash begin.
A WIDE-EYED SOCIALIST
dedicated to socialist congressional candidate Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
When the WORLD seems as jig-gl-y as JEL-lo As di-VI-ded as we have ev-er SEEN That’s the TIME for a wide-eyed SO-cial-ist Im-mat-TURE and po-lit-ic’ly GREEN!
On the RIGHT, they all rant and rave and BEL-low That I’m BRAIN-less and have-n’t got a CLUE But I’m HERE, just a wide-eyed SO-cial-ist Who is YOUNG and fresh-faced and NEW!
I’m BARE-ly out of school
But QUAL-i-fied to rule
Be-CAUSE I have a dazz-ling SMILE!
I’m ON-ly twenty-eight
Pro-GRESS-sives think I’m great
They WOR-ship me ‘cause I’ve got STYLE!
I ob-TAINED a degree in e-co-NOM-ics
Doesn’t SAY much for col-leg-es these DAYS You don’t HAVE to be smart All you NEED is heart And you’ll SEE that your ig-nor-ance PAYS!
Now, I’ve HEARD things are bad in Ven-ez-UE-la And I CARE, really care a-bout their PLIGHT But I’ll SAY, as a wide-eyed SO-cial-ist, I know SOME-day we'll man-age it RIGHT
We have MUR-dered a hun-dred mil-lion PEO-ple Even MORE, just to re-al-ize our DREAMS But I’ll SAY, as a wide-eyed SO-cial-ist That the ENDS jus-ti-fy...the MEANS!
The “MOD-er-ates” are old
They’re O-ver, I am told
Al-THOUGH they think a lot like ME
They NEED some-bod-y young
To CLIMB the high-est rung
Who’s BET-ter look-ing on T-V!
I at-TRACT all the media at-TEN-tion
‘Cause I LOOK like an ad for Ben-net-TON I’m the SO-cial-ist That you CAN’T re-sist So your PROP-er-ty soon will be GONE SO...SO...GONE!!