Happy “Super Thursday,” America! Despite what Joe Biden apparently thinks, there are no primaries on “Super Thursday,” but you can celebrate Mike Bloomberg dropping out of the race by drinking a Super Big Gulp.
Better enjoy that large drink while you can, though. Just moments after the electoral defibrillator paddles resuscitated Biden’s campaign, pundits began floating the idea that Biden would not be a caretaker President so much as a President who needs a caretaker. The theory is floating around that powerful members of the Democratic Party establishment want Joe in the White House because he would be a befuddled figurehead while they actually ran everything behind the scenes (you know, like that phony image of Reagan they created, only this time for real.) Here’s Tucker Carlson outlining that scenario…
Biden didn’t help by declaring that he would put table-vaulting anti-gun fanatic “Beto” O’Rourke in charge of his gun policy. President Trump relished using the term “quid pro quo” to advance his theory that all the other candidates who’ve quit and endorsed Biden were promised something big in return, like a high-level Biden Administration appointment. Funny, I thought when the voters rejected them, they made it clear that they didn’t want those people anywhere near the levers of power. But if you looked at that crowded debate stage and thought that all of those people put together wouldn’t add up to one good President, well, elect Biden and you might find out.
RELATED READING: Bloomberg Out
Or better yet, don’t elect Biden, and we won’t have to worry about “Beto” riding roughshod over the Second Amendment, or Pete Buttigieg deciding what religious beliefs we’re allowed to express, or Mike Bloomberg being named as Czar In Charge of Telling You How Big Your Beverage Can Be. (“Your soda cup must be shorter than Mike Bloomberg to be allowed to drink it!”)
On a serious note, does anyone else find it odd that Democrats want to ban all sorts of things that people do to their own bodies, from vaping and smoking (aside from pot), to drinking large sodas, from using too much salt to eating meat…yet their go-to response to any limits on abortion is that the government can’t tell a woman what to do with her own body? Reality check: drinking a large soda is something you do to your own body. Abortion is something you do to your unborn child’s body. Guess which one is more lethal.