See, I told you that when Hillary Clinton said she was not running for President in 2020, that would depend on what the meaning of “not” is. Apparently, she’s like her husband Bill in thinking that “no” means “maybe.”
I must confess, I was almost sorry to hear her say she wasn’t running because that would mean we wouldn’t be able to look forward a new series of wacky excuses for why she lost in 2020. She’s already blamed her loss in 2016 on everything from a Russian conspiracy to men telling their wives how to vote. I used to look forward to her excuses the way people do to new parody songs from Weird Al Yankovic: You never knew what either of them would come out with, but you knew it would be off-the-wall and hilarious. Unfortunately, Hillary is slipping below the Weird Al standard and seems to be grasping at straws now.
For instance, on Sunday, she claimed she lost Wisconsin not because of her arrogant and insulting attitude toward blue collar workers or her failure even to visit there after winning the primary but because between 40,000 and 80,000 voters (who presumably all would have voted for her) “were turned away from the polls because of the color of their skin, because of their age, because of whatever excuse could be made up to stop a fellow American citizen from voting.” That was such a transparent load of cow flop that even the Washington Post fact checker gave it “Four Pinocchios.”
Let’s hope she does run again because she really needs another loss to Trump to inspire her to come up with better, fresher, more entertaining excuses. Something like, “My voters saw ‘2020’ on the ballot and mistook it for an eye chart” or “That racist Trump deliberately depressed the minority vote by creating so many jobs for minorities that they were too busy working to show up and vote for me.”