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January 2, 2023
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I'm gratified to know that so many readers enjoyed my article from last year about Peanut M&M's.  Mars Inc. is way too woke for me and obviously too woke for you, and though I never intended to start any kind of boycott, I'm sure my body is thanking me for substituting natural chocolate-covered raisins, which are similarly delicious and require no "evolved" footwear choices whatsoever!

Of course, it's not just Mars --- marketing departments everywhere have gone overboard with their pandering to this "inclusiveness" blah-blah-blah, to the point where it's become a pathetic joke.  Here are just a few examples of the many reader comments I appreciated:

From Marlene:

I only like the dark chocolate M&Ms, sure going to miss them. I'm just sick and tired of wokeness in my food.

THANKS, MARLENE!  Me, too!  I'm still laughing from your comment.

..........

From Anne:

Thank you for showcasing this bit of hilarity. This is the silliest corporation pandering yet. Must we make even fun treats into political statements? When will people have enough? People who don’t read Huckabee won’t even know these things are happening. This is just another damaging bit of propaganda. Unfortunately, the stock market is catching on. It would be interesting to see how customers react. Thanks, again, for writing interesting and informative articles.

THANK YOU, ANNE.  It is hilarious, isn't it?  We learn from this that people on the left don't have a sense of humor, though the marketing people at Mars Inc. do try their best to imitate one.

..........

From Joy:

Yes!! So right on. Oh my gosh - even candy isn't exempted from the crushing and exhausting virtue signaling with which companies feel they MUST comply. My hips can do without the M&Ms too, so I'm not that unhappy to give them up, but seriously, soon we'll be left with rice cakes and celery. Are those racist or sexist too?

THANKS, JOY!   The answer to your question is yes, yes they are.  Rice, as you surely know, is Asian, and in the name of equity, we have to take Asians down a peg and make it harder for them to get scholarships no matter how hard they work.  Also, never forget that rice is white, which means it exhibits whiteness, and whiteness is very, very bad.

Celery...well, I don't know, but it must be racist, because everything is racist in one way or another when you choose to look at it in certain ways.  Don't you know that?  (In fact, I read just the other day that even exercise is racist.  But don't tell the regulars at my gym, almost all of whom are non-white.)

..........

Thanks to all who wrote!

--- Laura

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Comments 1-2 of 2

  • Roxan Morris

    01/03/2023 09:15 AM

    I loved the original and follow up articles. My eyes are still rolling from the absurdity of Mars.

    My goodness! Just let the candy be candy! You do you and let the candy be candy.

    However, if I could earn a paycheck by dressing up candy…
    I might take that job.

  • Allegra Kitchens

    01/02/2023 05:04 PM

    Yes, Laura celery is obviously racist. First of all, at some point in the 87 year, yes, I said 87 years because the United States of America didn't become a county until 1776, and abolished slavery in 1863. In spite of the historical sciente fiction book, "The 1619 Project's" incorrect claims, from 1619 to 1776, there was NO United States. We were a British Colony, at some point slaves grew or tended celery in the United States. That puts it in the same category as cotton, which has been declared racist because slaves once grew it. In addition, because celery is green, it is racist as the color green will be associated with any future immigrants from outer space. So, put celery on the list of being racist. LOL