On Wednesday, former FBI agent Peter Strzok, the lead investigator for both the Trump/Russia probe and the Hillary Clinton email “matter,” will be questioned behind closed doors by the House Judiciary and House Oversight and Government Reform Committees. His attorney, Aitan Goelman, has said he will not plead the Fifth and is willing to testify without an immunity deal, though he was subpoenaed for this testimony. Goelman says his client “thinks that his position, character and actions have all been misrepresented and caricatured and he wants an opportunity to remedy that.”
According to attorney Joe diGenova, Strzok will try to do that by lying his backside off. Gosh, I wonder if Strzok really will “pull a Bill Clinton”!
President Trump texted that Strzok is a “fraud” and that he should be questioned live on TV. We’ll have to wait a while for that; a public hearing will reportedly be held sometime in the next few weeks. In the meantime, in my eternal quest to be as helpful as possible, here are my “just for fun” questions for the committees to ask him now:
1. On June 6, 2016, you were one of the officials who changed the language of Comey’s statement in the Hillary case from “grossly negligent,” which is criminal, to “extremely careless,” which could be something like not looking when you’re going down the stairs. Hillary falls down the stairs a LOT –- is that what you meant?
2. The day after the Trump/Russia investigation officially started, you flew to London. Did you meet with Christopher Steele or other operatives, or did you just need a little break from all the dedicated anti-Trump work that had already been going on for months?
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3. Did you personally assign the “confidential informants” (SPIES) to investigate the Trump campaign people, and when did this happen? And did you call them spies? Come on, you know you did.
4. Did American taxpayers fly you first-class to London and also end up paying for George Papadopoulos’s bar tab?
5. You said, “Now I need to fix it and finish it.” Did you mean “fix” as in, “the fix is in”?
6. How many informants in the Trump campaign did you have? Is that more or fewer that than the number of people you had to carry out Lynch’s instructions to cover for Hillary? (NOTE: As reported in National Review, the part about Lynch wanting cover for Hillary is buried in the IG report, part of Comey’s testimony.)
7. How did you like your work in Human Resources? With this kind of experience and your vicious anti-Trump bias, you might be able to find work at a big company like Google.
8. How do you really pronounce your name? We were all just wondering.
9. You and former CIA Director John Brennan have a lot in common --- for example, you both hate Trump. Have you thought about going into business together, like those guys who formed Fusion GPS?
10. After all the hard work you did to try to get Hillary into the White House, does it bug you that she goes around blaming the FBI for keeping her out?
11. How did you get to lead both investigations? Did your department have a contest to see who hated Trump the most?
12. That talk about the “insurance policy” --- was that just you boning up for your dream job in HR?
13. Why did you like Hillary? Was it because you thought that with her particular skills and personality traits, she had a lot to teach the FBI about secrecy?
14. If you owned a chicken restaurant, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders came in with her family, would you serve them?
15. While you were on the Mueller team, what was your official job? Did you coordinate the daily “Two Minutes Hate”?
16. The IG did not conclude that your actions affected the outcome of the Hillary investigation. Is that because you and Lisa Page were too busy texting each other hateful messages to actually get anything done?
17. You finally lost your security clearance a few days ago. While you were still working at the FBI in HR, how much of your day was spent looking at classified material while you still had the chance?
18. Are you still collecting a paycheck from the FBI? Whatever for?
19. Once you’re completely out of the FBI, do you think you might follow in the footsteps of Christopher Steele and freelance for the Trump opposition?
20. Which should we believe: the text messages you thought no one but Lisa would ever see, or the carefully crafted lines you’re handing us today with your lawyer present?