Dear Miss Mannerly:
I have always been a very outspoken person, and this has served me well in the area where I am from, with a community of people whom I believe must share my political views. I almost always “say it with a smile,” and use a little womanly “charm offensive” to help me get away with saying what is on my mind. Until now, this has propelled me in my professional life, and I have recently been rewarded with an influential new job. I even received a plum committee assignment that matches my interest perfectly (foreign affairs). How exciting, like being at the United Nations!
But this adulation is not shared by all. Now that I have advanced to become part of a new community (let us call it “The Hill”) and am the focus of quite a lot of media attention, I have been speaking out in my customary way, just as I would with my supporters back home, but it is not going over well with the larger audience and with some of my colleagues on The Hill. Why should this be? I get backlash over it almost every day. This happens even though I speak I in a well-modulated voice, dress with style and modesty and have, I believe, nice manners. Some of these new colleagues of mine are starting to condemn me for what I say when they have no right to do that. They even talk about drafting a formal resolution to sanction me. Who is in the wrong here? Certainly not me.
I just don’t understand it. All I have to do is say or tweet some completely innocuous truth –- like that Israel has hypnotized the world, or that Israel has done evil things, or that support of Israel is all about the Benjamins (common knowledge), or that politicians who support Israel have a dual allegiance to America and Israel --- and some of my colleagues actually give me grief about it. A few of them will come to my defense, and my friends in the media have done so, but I know there are other colleagues who share my views and won’t speak up. Cowards!
Please help me, Miss Mannerly, so I can be effective here in America as a force against Israel and to help establish a Palestinian homeland. I am really a very nice, pleasant person and don’t understand the resistance I am encountering, except from Jews, of course, but they do not count. Should I perhaps try to gain rapport by telling jokes? I know some really good ones about Hebrews. By the way, you’re not Jewish, are you? If you are, then never mind, you Jewish dog.
It’s considered poor etiquette to inquire about someone’s ethnic or religious background, so we shall refrain from introducing Miss Mannerly’s into this conversation.
Note that I have edited your letter a bit to remove the more egregious anti-Semitic slurs, out of politeness to my readers. You may be able to get away with them in front of some of your “constituents,” but they are not welcome here and in polite society in general.
Miss Mannerly would not recommend telling any jokes. However, she is afraid you might not be able to help yourself. You do not seem remotely capable of holding your tongue, or even of sincerely apologizing for anti-Semitic remarks, but at least you offer an honest look into your mind, which Miss Mannerly imagines is quite rare on “The Hill.” People may be offended by you, but at least they are not deceived.
If your supporters back home appreciate your views and comments, perhaps you would be better off around them instead of away from home in your current position. And by “home,” might Miss Mannerly suggest Palestine?
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