Woke Santa, fired

December 9, 2020

“Social Justice Warriors Ruin Everything” Dept: If you ever wondered what would befall Ralphie from “A Christmas Story” if he asked Santa for a Red Ryder BB gun these days, then wonder no more.

A video went viral of a little boy asking a mall Santa for a Nerf Gun for Christmas. The woke St. Nick refused, telling him, “No, no guns.” His mom clarifies, “A NERF Gun,” but the real life Bad Santa is adamant: “Nope, not even a Nerf Gun…If your dad wants to get it for you, that’s fine, but I can’t bring it to you.” He then suggests some other toys, but the disappointed boy has already rushed back to his mother in tears after being woke-shamed by Santa.

Fortunately, this Christmas story has (spoiler alert!) the same happy ending as Ralphie’s: the boy got his Nerf Gun when the mall sent another Santa to his home to deliver a free one. As for the Santa who imposes his political views on kids, he’s been fired (no, not out of a Nerf Gun.) He can go back to the North Pole and try to organize the elves into a union.

Bonus Happy Ending: The boy got to be a guest on Stephen Crowder’s YouTube show. I like the comment by one viewer that this should inspire people to donate lots of Nerf Guns to Toys For Tots.

Dumber than rocks

November 21, 2020

If your kids attend the University of Wisconsin-Madison, you might be interested to hear what they plan to blow a big chunk of your tuition money on.

School officials want to remove a large black boulder from Observatory Hill after a black campus activist group and a campus newspaper declared it a racist rock (and no, “Racist Rock” is not an old ABC afterschool series.)

Its name since 1926 has been Chamberlin Rock, after geologist and then-campus president Thomas Crowder Chamberlin. But showing that at least someone there is studying history, the activists discovered that in the first half of the last century, such rock formations were sometimes called by the racist name, “'N-word'-heads.” And this rock was once referred to by that term, albeit in quotation marks, in a newspaper article…in 1925.

So of course, it has to be removed because black students might feel oppressed by it. The estimated cost is between $30,000 and $75,000, which would pay for a nice scholarship for a promising black student. But removing the rock that was referred to by a racist name one time 95 years ago is far more urgent.

The removal will require the okay of the Wisconsin Historical Society, which notes that the boulder is a “Pre-Cambrian era glacial erratic that is an iconic representation of Wisconsin glaciation period.” FYI: the Pre-Cambrian period stretched from 4.6 billion years ago to about 541 million years ago. That’s how long the rock had been sitting there minding its own business before anyone decided it was racist and had to go.

The most shocking part of this story isn’t that the school’s administrators are actually planning to blow $75,000 of desperately-needed school funds on removing a rock that’s been there since the dawn of time because someone called it by a racist term 95 years ago. The shocking part is that we pay these people to teach our kids when they are apparently dumber than a box of Pre-Cambrian rocks.

NBA Ratings Fall

October 10, 2020

One of the weaknesses of the bullying tactics of the left is that they believed that if they seized control of pop culture, sports, entertainment and the news media, they could tell all Americans what to do, say and think, and we would have no choice but to go along with it. They forgot that all those industries are, at bottom, capitalistic, and in such systems, the customers are always right, even if we’re not left. They depend on us to support their lavish lifestyles. When we get sick of being told what racists we are or listening to people insult America, our religious and political beliefs, and our intelligence, we can simply stop patronizing them and find something else to do with our time. As millions of us have.

That message might finally be starting to sink in. With movie revenues tanking and TV ratings plummeting for “woke” shows, pro sports and liberal cable news channels, some of these arrogant leftist celebrities might be starting to imagine themselves preaching their politics from a cardboard box in an alley instead of a mansion in Beverly Hills.

I mention this as a prelude to telling you that viewership for Game Three of the NBA finals took a plunge to 4.08 million from the record-low 4.5 million who watched Game Two, which itself shattered the record low of 7.41 million who watched Game One. At this rate, if there’s a Game Seven, it will be beaten in the ratings by reruns of “Green Acres” on ME-TV.

And just like magic, suddenly the bosses of the NBA seem to have decided that they made their point, the BLM moment in time was this past summer (emphasis on "past") and while America is, of course, still a horrible racist country, maybe next season there should be more basketball and fewer political messages all over the courts and on the players’ jerseys and in the fans' faces.

That would be a very smart business move. Although they might want to do it now while they can still afford new jerseys. And before all their former fans discover that “Green Acres” was a really funny show, and Arnold the pig never called his fans racists.

Unsurprising Story

September 22, 2020

In a shocking but somehow unsurprising story, a professor at Marshall University in West Virginia is on suspension pending an investigation after allegedly telling students during an online class that she hoped all of Trump’s supporters would get the coronavirus and die before the election. I thought universities were supposed to create “safe spaces” for students. How safe would a Trump-supporting student feel in her class?

I say it’s unsurprising because this is the kind of nasty, dehumanizing, violent, radical left rhetoric that’s become all too common among university faculty who fancy themselves smarter and better than the rest of us. At least this one is still clinging to enough shards of self-awareness to say she’s sorry she’s “become the type of person” who wishes death on people who disagree with her politically.

That prompted this interesting blog post on how apparently intelligent and well-educated people who live in a bubble where only one view is ever expressed can let a steady diet of political hatred turn them into soulless tyrants with no regard for human life.

What is missing from these people’s lives that has left such a huge hole in their souls that they would prioritize ideology over human life? I think I know what it is, but she works in a university so I assume I wouldn’t be allowed to give her a Bible.

An unintended positive consequence of the pandemic is that college students who have to attend online will not be getting their standard fall dose of leftist, anti-American brainwashing.

And here’s a piece by a New York City nurse who points out that she has spent months working directly with COVID-19 patients, and grocery store employees kept working, so why should teachers be considered any less “essential?” Her husband, who is a public school teacher, opposes a strike and feels it’s his duty to serve in the classroom. My observation: some of those grocery workers are no doubt high school students themselves, so even the kids continued working while their teachers’ unions are fighting going back to work.

(FYI, that’s in the Atlantic, so of course the writer blames New York’s problems on the federal government and President Trump, who made sure New York had no shortage of ventilators or hospital rooms, and not on her own local and state Democratic leaders, who made every possible wrong decision and turned nursing homes into killing fields.)

A lot of people are talking about (and I don’t know why) a Yahoo music editor’s article calling for replacing “The Star-Spangled Banner” as America’s National Anthem, possibly with “Imagine” by John Lennon. The excuse is that Francis Scott Key was a slaveholder (he also represented slaves trying to win their freedom in court, pro bono), and that the third verse that is never sung is “blatantly racist” (although his use of the term "slave" has been hotly debated and might mean people pressed into service by the British Navy, oh and by the way, did I mention that it’s NEVER SUNG?

This is hardly the first time anyone’s wanted to replace “The Star-Spangled Banner,” although until now, it’s usually been because it’s so hard to sing (the tune was taken from a drinking song with a high note you practically have to be drunk to attempt to hit.) The choice to replace it was usually Irving Berlin’s “God Bless America,” but we can’t have that now! Referring to God is almost as un-PC as honoring a slaveholder.

But what about “Imagine”? Look, I love the Beatles, but that has to be the most over-praised song of the past century. Even Lennon admitted that it’s basically the Communist Manifesto set to music. Radical leftists love it because it paints a picture of a utopian world without national borders, private property or religion, and Lennon often found himself having to correct their interpretations and reminding them that he wasn’t advocating for those things, he was just suggesting “imagining” that we didn’t have all those differences so we could work together globally.

But people DO have differences, and as experience has taught us, leftist prescriptions, like taking away religious freedom and property rights, do nothing but make them angrier and more likely for those differences to flare into war. Besides, imposing that "utopia" requires an ironfisted oppressive government, which isn’t likely in a world without borders. If the song has a dreamlike quality, that’s because it is a dream. A pipe dream.

Besides, if we had to do away with every song because the writer wasn’t a saint, we wouldn’t have much music left, and that includes John Lennon music. Wonder what the cancel culture would do if they realized John wrote a song intended as a feminist anthem that was called “Woman is the (N-word) of the World”?

As with all art, we have to learn to separate the creation from the creator. Francis Scott Key was a flawed human being, as are all human beings, but he gave us a great song that represents a great nation, and it stands for all our people. Some of the most inspiring renditions of it were performed by black entertainers, from Mahalia Jackson to Jimi Hendrix to Whitney Houston.

If the statue-smashing radicals really want to learn from the wisdom of John Lennon, I’d recommend instead a far better song: “Revolution.”

“You say you want a revolution, well, you know, we all want to change the world...

But when you talk about destruction, don’t you know that you can count me out…

You say you got a real solution, well, you know, we'd all love to see the plan.

You ask me for a contribution, well, you know, we're all doing what we can.

But if you want money for people with minds that hate, all I can tell is brother you have to wait…

You say you'll change the Constitution, well, you know, we all want to change your head.

You tell me it's the institution, well, you know, you better free your mind instead.

But if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow…”

In the latest attempts to scrub our cultural history of anything that upsets current PC sensitivities, it was announced that in a reboot of “Looney Tunes” (perfect timing for that!), famed hunter Elmer Fudd will no longer carry a shotgun.

Will he use a bow and arrow, like Ted Nugent? He’ll have to be quite an archer to hunt ducks and rabbits that way. I’d strongly advise him not to order any duck or rabbit traps from the Acme Company. Oh wait: Warner Brothers released a preview clip showing him running after Bugs Bunny with a scythe. A scythe?! How is that less violent than a shotgun? Besides, what kind of message is it for kids to show someone running while carrying a sharp instrument? It’s not safe!

Also, the HBO Max streaming service has yanked “Gone With The Wind” until they can add “a discussion of its historical context and a denouncement” of its sympathetic depiction of the Old South. I guess this is for viewers who need a reminder that (A.) the movie was made in 1939 and based on a book by a Southerner, Margaret Mitchell; (B.) Scarlett O’Hara was personally biased toward the South; or (C.) slavery was bad.

In its nearly four-hour length, “GWTW” covers a lot of territory, and it’s not all sympathetic to the Old South (its hero, Rhett Butler, is shunned for telling the Southerners that they’re suffering from “dreams of victory” and have nothing but “cotton, slaves and arrogance;” and it doesn’t spare us the carnage, waste and suffering caused by that ill-founded decision.) It also makes a number of points about all sorts of human dilemmas unrelated to its specific era, from personal relationships to moral decisions and their consequences.

One scene particularly resonates now: As Sherman is starting to burn Atlanta, Scarlett mocks the retreating Confederate army. Rhett replies, “I wouldn't be in such a hurry to see them go, if I were you, my dear. With them goes the last semblance of law and order.” Immediately thereafter, criminals start rampaging through the streets.

All the liberals demanding that we defund the police should have to watch that scene a few hundred times.

It’s understandable, considering the level of threats, slander and vitriol being hurled, but still disappointing to see so many people folding and groveling for saying things that we should all agree with, but that far-left radical activists have declared to be double-plus ungood wrongthink. It is entirely possible to condemn racism and want reform of police corruption (particularly in long-time one-party Democratic cities/states, where the racism and corruption have been deeply entrenched for up to half a century, even though they blame it on Donald Trump) and still oppose rioting, looting, vandalism, violence and threatening, racially-divisive, anti-American rhetoric. This is the time for the silent majority to stop being silent and speak up for racial unity, not race war. Don’t wait until November to make yourselves heard, although I expect there will be quite a roar unleashed at the ballot box

There were a number of sobering opinion pieces this weekend, warning that the attempted purges we’re seeing now, including the push to do away with police, aided and abetted by powerful political and media/social media forces, are not an honest reaction to the murder of George Floyd but long-planned actions of radical elements exploiting Floyd’s killing as a fuse for the bomb they’ve spent years building.

Here’s Roger L. Simon on the Mao-ing of America

The difference between the ‘60s radical rioters and today’s

And a timely message to celebrities who are knuckling under to criticism of comments that were not really offensive…

Here’s a quote from the third article

“The left has graduated to literal struggle sessions. They are intent on forcing us all, through shame and abuse, to bow to an ideology that is demonstrably toxic and divisive instead of allowing us to pursue, of our own free will, a common-humanity politics that will actually lead to a more just society. If you are a creative, don't bend. Don't apologize to these people -- ever. Because they will never be satisfied. As soon as you show your belly, they will continue to harass you for every tiny imperfection they can perceive. And you don't deserve that. Hardly anyone does.”

No safe spaces

June 5, 2020

Comic/podcaster Adam Carolla is blasting Walmart for its decision not to carry the DVD of “No Safe Spaces,” the excellent and chilling documentary that he and Dennis Prager created about the efforts to silence free speech, particularly by the left on college campuses. Carolla pointed out the irony that Walmart won’t carry a movie "about the importance of allowing Americans to share ideas freely.” He said, “You can't make this stuff up. It's a free country, and Walmart is free to ban our movie, but our fans are also free to let Walmart know how they feel about that."

In its defense, Walmart says they’re carrying the book based on the film, but DVD space is based off “data-driven customer insights” and its $1.3 million box office shows it doesn’t have enough commercial appeal. However, most documentaries don’t make nearly that much (“No Safe Spaces” was the top-earning political documentary of last year), and since it’s hard for them to find theater screens, they depend on DVDs and streaming to reach an audience.

I hope Walmart will reconsider this decision. In light of what we are seeing now across the country – the burning and looting instigated by some of the same radical elements discussed in the film, who are expanding from campuses to entire cities, and, yes, looting big box stores – it’s imperative that everyone in America see this documentary to learn who and what we’re dealing with, how we allowed it to get to this point, and why it must be stopped before free speech is silenced permanently.

To learn more about the film, stream it now or order the DVD online, go to https://nosafespaces.com

New York City Mayor Bill DeBlasio seems to be shooting for a new world record for double standards. While imposing draconian crackdowns and snitch hotlines on residents who leave their homes, he’s been spotted traveling miles to his favorite gym (nobody else is allowed to go to the gym) and taking a walk with his wife in a park 11 miles from his home, which is near a park. This went over as well as you’d expect with New Yorkers

But even more disturbing than his “do-as-I-say, not-as-I-do” leadership is his double standard on respecting religious freedom. First, he threatened that any churches or synagogues that held services would be closed down “permanently” – not just until the lockdown ended, but “permanently.” It didn’t go unnoticed that he didn’t include mosques in that threat. Next, he announced that the city would provide 500,000 free halal meals to poor Muslims who couldn’t go to their mosques during Ramadan – fine in itself, but there was grumbling about the deference to Islam after the unconstitutional threat to churches and synogogues.

Now, despite DeBlasio’s Ramadan claim that "This is a place that truly believes in equality, something that is a profound New York City value," he’s once again threatening the city’s Jewish community, this time with arrest for violating “social distancing” rules by attending a funeral for a revered Rabbi in Brooklyn.

Critics are not defending the violation of social distancing, but they are alarmed at DeBlasio's language, at the way he repeatedly defaults to harsh criticism and threats of arrest and other strict government reprisals when he’s talking about Jews, but not other ethnic or religious groups.

DeBlasio was already under fire for appointing his wife to head a “coronavirus racial inequality task force.” If she’s looking for examples of discrimination in how the coronavirus is being handled, she could start by gazing across her own dinner table.