Man of the Year

May 2, 2022

I’m just going to put it out there—Elon Musk is my nominee for Man of the Year!  The world’s richest man doesn’t even own a home—he just crashes with friends in various places.  Hey, Elon, if you need a place to hang out, I’m happy to offer my place for you because I truly appreciate a billionaire who puts his money where his mouth is…or in his case he puts his money where the enemies of free speech are and he stuffs wads of cash in their nasty mouths and buys the very platform that shut out voices of conservatives, Christians, and Trump supporters while keeping Twitter open to the Ayatollah and to medical fraudsters like Tony Fauci who has spent 2 years in an ever-changing chant as to what private citizens must do to fight a virus, even if his advice changed every month.  And even if he appears to have lied in a large way about the origin of the Wuhan virus and whether he and other US Taxpayer-funded  scientists knew all along about the real origin of the Covid leak and that US dollars helped fund experiments that would have been illegal in the US.

Musk offered to flat out buy Twitter.  The left went berserk to the point that you would have thought that Elon Musk wanted to turn off the water in every American city and make us all eat Soylent Green—a reference that only baby-boomers will understand. 

Some 20 something year old wearing baggy pajamas, working from a filthy apartment littered with empty Cheetos bags will no longer be able to decide who gets to speak and who doesn’t.  Elon Musk bought the entire thing for $44 Billion dollars and will restore it to a true forum. Granted, there will be a lot of stuff on Twitter that will be outrageous, wrong, and inflammatory.  But that’s how real free speech works.  If it’s defamatory, the object of such hate can sue.  It’s tough to win, but one thing I hope Musk will do is force people to openly identify who they are when they speak.  Too many blathering cowards hide behind silly sophomoric screen names so they can shoot from the dark and run hide behind a wall of secrecy.  I hope that stops.  If you want to say something, be man enough or woman enough—if you know what those terms even mean—to say it with your real name attached.  No more wimpy word wizards who are often not even real humans but electronic bots taking pot shots at people who actually have the guts to stand by their words in their own name. 

There will likely be massive waves of voices being released from the stupid and hate-driven Twitter jail where those who dared to speak out about taboo topics like elections, Covid treatments, or Hunter Biden’s revealing laptop got exiled.  Twitter twits kept you from knowing  how Papa Joe was very much involved in Hunter’s dirty dealing with the Chinese, the Russians, and others for which the easily identified “Big Guy” got a lucrative cut of the deals.  Those stories from the NY Post got banned from Twitter, but now even the NY Times and Washington Post admits the laptop is authentic.

The loons on the left really do fear free speech.  Old time and sincere liberals always loved it, defended it, and fought for it, and they will also have their voices restored.  They deserve to be heard too. 

It’s a BRAVE NEW WORLD and Elon Musk is a brave new leader!  

Our “Homeland Security Secretary” Alejandro Mayorkas offers nothing but blame-shifting for our open border and the surge of illegal immigration. And as for what happened to those 42 illegal border crossers who were on the terror watch list, he has no clue.

But under his “leadership” (this Administration is definitely to blame for the supply shortage of quotation marks), we now have a “Ministry of Truth”-style Disinformation Czarina to do what’s really important for domestic security: monitor Americans’ free speech in case they say something that challenges this Administration’s narratives. That might signal that they’re a potential violent threat that needs to be visited by a federal agency with lots and lots of guns.

I’m glad to see that the announcement of this shockingly unconstitutional speech-suppression board has been met with outrage, ridicule, condemnation and demands that it be killed immediately from critics across the political spectrum. Only the most diehard Biden apologists are trying to defend it.

It doesn’t help that the woman chosen as head hall monitor of our speech appears to be such a leftwing looney tune, and I mean that literally: she sings looney leftwing tunes on Twitter.

Yes, that’s our new speech overlord Nina Jankowisc singing a cringeworthy parody of “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” (Keep reading next week when our writer Laura Ainsworth, who is a professional song parodist, is thinking of penning a rebuttal.) Yes, she’s not only a leftist who spreads “disinformation” with a bulldozer when it comes from the Democrats…

…she’s also a narcissistic musical theater kid. Who wouldn’t want one of those policing everything you say?

I’ll bet she was a big fan of the TV show “Glee,” which makes sense if you read this lengthy but fascinating article arguing that the rabid online “Glee” fan community was ground zero for the entire epidemic of wokeness, crybullies and “critical theory” identity politics that’s metastasized to every corner of American life.

Remember when we were told we had to elect Biden so that the “adults would be back in charge”? What we got instead is Grandpa Simpson incompetently babysitting while Bart destroys the house and Lisa annoys us with politically correct nagging and musical interludes.

But a warning: don’t let the appalling choice of office head become the story. That will give them an opening simply to replace her and keep the office. Even if she were the most sober-sided, moderate bureaucrat imaginable, the problem isn’t one individual’s personality, it’s the entire idea of a federal office to monitor and suppress American citizens’ speech. I wish Ms Jankowicz all the best in her musical theater career, but the office she’s about to assume needs to be exterminated now before it has a chance to take root.

When there’s a Democrat President and a “comedian” like Trevor Noah at the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner (WHCD), there’s little chance you’ll hear any really biting, funny lines worth quoting. But some news did come out of that event on Saturday. For one thing, President Biden made himself look as in touch with the people as Marie Antoinette when he guffawed at Noah’s line, “Since you’ve come into office, things are really looking up. Gas is up, rent is up, food is up. Everything!”

I have a feeling a lot of Americans won’t find that nearly as funny as Biden did.

If callousness isn’t your cup of tea, how about hypocrisy? Dr. Anthony Fauci announced that he would not attend the dinner because of his individual assessment of his personal COVID risk. But that didn’t stop him from attending the crowded, non-televised pre-party, where he mingled with the swells and posed for photos with no social distancing and NO MASK, even though the much-younger serving staffers were all masked.

So if you’re taking notes on COVID risk assessment from America’s #1 health authority, a man synonymous with science, please note that it’s only necessary to wear a mask if you’re at a televised event and/or you’re a waiter rather than a VIP guest.

If you missed last week’s raucous congressional testimony by Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, then you passed up television at its finest, the most compelling telecast since Will Smith slapped Chris Rock. Republican Congressmen shouted angrily at the witness and at each other as Democratic chairmen furiously hammered for order. While mostly ignoring it, the complicit mainstream press later explained away the frequent shouts of “Traitor!” and Resign!” by insisting that the Republican minority was grandstanding to heighten their slander of the hapless DHS secretary.

To be perfectly fair, Mr. Mayorkas conclusively demonstrated that he may be the only person in the nation who knows less about our borders than Kamala Harris, our reigning Vice President and National Embarrassment. Watching him, it was hard to understand how someone could be so consistently wrong, beginning with his assertion that DHS had “competently managed” the migratory hordes now rushing the border. Nor has he ever recanted his spurious September charges that mounted Border Patrolmen were using their reins to whip helpless migrants rather than to control their horses. Isn’t it the first responsibility of any leader, but especially a Cabinet Secretary, to back up his people while performing difficult and hazardous duties?

Since old books can often produce new ideas, my well-thumbed dictionary always comes through. There, just after the listings for “bed-pan” and “Beelzebub” was the perfect description of Alejandro Mayorkas: “Befuddled: to fuddle or confuse the mind of a person or to stupefy with liquor. Befuddlement (n.)” If that seems a little harsh, then remember that Mr. Mayorkas has apparently never grasped that the most essential function of borders is to keep foreigners out while protecting citizen’s lives and property; but instead of opposing immigration flows, he conceives the DHS function as merely managing them. Precisely that same naivete governs his responses to terrorism since he had no idea what happened to those 42 aliens on the terrorist watch list who were unlucky enough to have been apprehended since Biden took office. Well, where are they now, Mr. Secretary, in jail or released with cell phones, ankle bracelets and our best wishes? Oh wait, you’re befuddled, so please excuse me for asking.

Future historians may well debate this question underlying American destiny: Did we lose our national IQ after we elected Joe Biden? Or did we elect Joe because we had already Gone Stupid, the downstream consequence of having spurned our national values while reducing our educational system to Third World levels? Either way: soon we may hear Jen Psaki’s Farewell and Final Sophistry before joining MSNBC. “Our Republican friends seem to have missed an impressive benefit of these so-called border surges. Many of these new migrants are better educated and harder-working than their native American counter-parts!” Sad to say, Jen the Glib might even be right.

While the Biden administration and Democrats in general often ignore its provisions, the U. S. Constitution is very specific about border security. Article 4, Section 4 stipulates that, “The United State shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican (i.e., representative) Form of Government, and shall protect each of them from invasion…” If Trump-enacted COVID restrictions are lifted by May 23rd, current estimates are that the flood of illegals could reach over 18, 000 people per day, an invasion that even befuddled Secretary Mayorkas admits would strain limited DHS resources.

Texans prefer plain speaking to Washington double-speak so it was not surprising that Allen Castleberry, Sheriff of Kimble County Texas (not far from the overrun border) recently took the extraordinary step of using his Facebook account to post a stark warning:

The Kimble County Sheriff’s Office…(has) received information through several intelligence sources that a profound increase in illegal immigration entries and human smuggling activities are expected …in the coming months…There are reports that hundreds of thousands of people are staging throughout Central and South America, from Mexico to Brazil…(We) expect a very large increase in illegal immigration and human smuggling attempts that will inevitably impact Kimble County. Additionally, the international criminal gang…MS-13, has been taking full advantage of the wave of illegal immigration….

Since sheriffs are the only elected leaders in law enforcement, Sheriff Castleberry told me he wanted to make sure his Kimble County citizens knew what might lie ahead. I do too: Remember that the invasion striking us in Texas today will hit your neighborhoods tomorrow or next week. So protect yourself, your home, your families and your communities by any legal means available.

All right, I have to say it. A line has been crossed, and this cannot stand.

It was crossed by a strange woman we had mercifully never heard of before, Nina Jankowicz, and it’s not the line you’re thinking of, the one that has to do with trashing the First Amendment, although she (along with the horrid administration that hired her) has crossed that one, too.

No, the line she crossed was in creating that truly terrifying Julie Andrews-style song parody of “Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious.” As someone who is, myself, a song parodist who has performed her share of Julie Andrews song parodies, and who has deep respect for Julie Andrews, I simply can’t abide a song associated with her being used as an anthem in praise of government power. The words that come to mind upon hearing this (bleep) are not long at all; in fact, most of them have just four letters.

On the other hand, one thing about this parody is eerily appropriate: It’s a song that was sung by a NANNY. Now we have the GOVERNMENT expecting to be our nanny, telling us what to believe as fact and how to talk to each other about it –- if we’re allowed to talk about it at all. We have to follow nanny's rules and behave. We have to tidy up the nursery. We’ve had elements of the “nanny state” for a long time, increasingly so, but this board is the absolute worst to come along.

As I'd like to think Mary Poppins herself might express it, the idea of having the government as our nanny is “practically putrid in every way.” There’s no amount of sugar that will help this medicine go down.

So let's tell them to go fly a kite.

As for my own parodies, most of them have been recorded for radio stations that could then claim “intellectual property” rights in perpetuity, so unfortunately I can’t share them here. But it has even been said that if Julie Andrews and 'Weird' Al Yankovich had a child, it would be me. I take that as high praise. And I don’t enjoy seeing Weird Al’s name sullied by being mentioned in the same breath as Jankowicz’s. Because their last names are similar, some have even jested that she might be related to him. I’m a huge fan of Weird Al –- even got to meet and talk with him –- and I’m sure he’s the last person who would want his name associated with government censorship.

You’ve probably seen the Jankowicz parody because it’s been played over and over –- even by FOX News, perhaps to scare the life out of those of us who care about free speech. (It worked.) I’m not going to link to it here because it might cause side effects: nausea, vomiting, headache, high blood pressure, stroke, night terrors. It’s not that she can’t sing; she sings well and obviously has done some musical theatre, which she should definitely go back to, fancy degrees or not. No, the horrifying part is the ferocity of her zealousness, which comes through in every note and facial expression.

I’m a little concerned right now that so much focus is on Jankowicz that the discussion will become about HER, as opposed to the very existence of the (shudder) “Disinformation Governance Board.” Perhaps in talking about her now, I’m actually contributing to that. So I’ll make it clear: it’s not enough to get a different director for this board; the whole thing must be scrapped immediately, and anyone who was trying to sneak it in has got to go.

Since I do love to write parody lyrics, I thought it would be fun to write some alternate lyrics myself to “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" that told the REAL story of what the government is trying to do with its assault on so-called “disinformation.” In case you want to sing along, I’ve put the downbeats in capital letters. Here we go!


Laura Ainsworth c 2022


(Our…) SU-per-plan-for-censorship-to-FIGHT-disinformation

THAT’S our way to take control and MON-itor the nation

WE are here to moderate your EV-ry conversation







We’ll SEE that you’re afraid to speak a-BOUT Election fraud

Don’t TALK of Hunter’s laptop, that is CER-tainly outlawed

Don’t QUIB-ble when we say to get a-NOTH-er booster shot

You’re NOT advised to criticize, ‘cause THIS is what we’ve got:



(Our) SU-per-plan-for-censorship-to-FIGHT-disinformation

IF you're a conservative, we'll BLOCK communication

WHEN you contradict us, you’ll be FA-cing litigation!






Just TRAV-el all around the world and YOU will plainly see

That WHAT we do is modeled on the MOD-ern CCP

In OR-well’s Nineteen Eighty-Four, it’s WHAT they had to do

So HERE’S a Min-is-try Of Truth for TWEN-ty twenty-two!


(Our) SU-per-plan-for-censorship-to-FIGHT-disinformation

WE have been awaiting this with SUCH anticipation

WHAT we do to language will re-MIND you of castration

SU-per-plan-for-censorship-to FIGHT-disinformation!!!


Alejandro Mayorkas, head of the Department of Homeland Security, went on the Sunday shows to try to minimize the power of his new board, the “Disinformation Governance Board,” and the woman chosen to head it, Nina Jankowicz. She had, in her words, “let the cat out of the bag” about what she would be doing, and he’d apparently chosen to get ahead of the story by mentioning it to a congressional committee. Free speech advocates were shocked.

So on Sunday, he went on CNN to do damage control, saying that Jankowicz was “eminently qualified” and “a renowned expert in the field of disinformation.” He told Dana Bash that “the board does not have operational ability or authority.”

He went on FOX News Sunday to say that he had no reservations about Jankowicz’s objectivity. “There are people in the department who have a diverse range of views and they’re incredibly dedicated to mission,” he said. “We’re not the opinion police.”

Never mind that this woman has already revealed herself to be a crazed political hack. Talk about being incredibly dedicated to mission! To cite just one of numerous examples, this “renowned expert” believed the Hunter Biden laptop story was disinformation, either from Russia or “a Trump campaign product.” The fact that someone like her was chosen for that job tells us all we need to know.

To downplay this, Jankowicz has reportedly removed her TikTok account from public view.

As for Mayorkas, when he defends the board and Jankowicz, remember that this is the same man who, as head of Homeland Security, maintains that the border is under control. He told outrageous lies about the condition of the border in his testimony last week. The truth about the border is the opposite of what he said, so when he claims his new board is not the opinion police...well, there's good reason to believe the opposite is true. He has destroyed whatever credibility he might have had, and NOTHING he says about this board –- or anything else –- can be believed.

Ironically, he himself is a fountain of disinformation.

Mayorkas also said he could have picked someone from either side of the aisle to head this board. Two problems with that:

1) He didn’t.

2) A real conservative wouldn’t TAKE the job of running a government “disinformation” board.

During his testimony before the House Wednesday, Homeland Security Director Alejandro Mayorkas revealed that the DHS is creating a “Disinformation Governance Board” to police “disinformation” and “misinformation” before the 2022 elections.

If Republicans weren’t already laying the groundwork for impeaching Mayorkas for numerous other reasons, this would be enough. In fact, if President Biden doesn’t kill this idea immediately, I would argue that it is grounds for impeaching him for gross violation of his oath of office to defend the Constitution. I have never endorsed treating impeachment lightly or using it as a political weapon. But I agree with Tucker Carlson, who called this “one of the most brazen assaults on the First Amendment in over a century.”

This unconstitutional and Orwellian “Ministry of Truth” will be headed by so-called “disinformation expert” Nina Jankowicz. You can tell she’s an expert on disinformation because last year on Twitter, she personally shared some disinformation that caused extensive real world harm when she promoted the lie that the Hunter Biden laptop story was Russian disinformation. I guess Mayorkas figured it takes one to know one.

Jankowicz also falsely claimed in 2017 that the now-discredited Trump “Russian dossier” was funded by Republicans. So we can tell just how "objective" she'll be in assessing what is "disinformation."

She’s even entering into this new job by spewing more disinformation, claiming that “one of the key reasons the Board was established is to maintain the Dept.’s commitment to protecting free speech, privacy, civil rights and civil liberties.” Well, naturally, why else would you create a government office to monitor and police speech if not to protect free speech?

Incidentally, as recently as April 16th, Jankowicz said this to NPR about Elon Musk buying Twitter: “I shudder to think about if free speech absolutists were taking over more platforms, what that would look like for the marginalized communities all around the world.” I feel as if I'm now part of a "marginalized community" because I believe in protecting the First Amendment.

Bear in mind that the DHS is the same federal department that’s mischaracterized parents who object to radical race and gender politics in schools, and citizens who question the government’s pandemic policies or voice concerns about vote fraud, as domestic terrorist threats.

I hope that some conservative legal foundation will immediately file a lawsuit to block this shockingly unconstitutional assault on freedom of speech and get an emergency ruling from the Supreme Court killing it before it takes root and becomes harder to get rid of than the Left-Handed Screw Thread Commission. Killing the Speech Police Agency before it gets started is the only example of abortion that I would wholeheartedly endorse.