After all the hoopla, the special election for Pennsylvania's 18th District House seat ended with neither side able to declare full victory (Democrat Conor Lamb tried early on, but then, as Hillary Clinton taught us, not actually winning is no impediment to Democrats declaring themselves the winner).

This guest post is courtesy of Laura Ainsworth, who by day is a mild-mannered topical comedy writer/parodist for radio and the Internet, but by night changes into a sultry retro jazz singer/songwriter. Check out her acclaimed new album "New Vintage" and best-of vinyl LP "Top Shelf" at


On the plains of Oklahoma
Nowhere near the Big-Sea water
Stood the wigwam of Liz Warren
Daughter of the Loon, Liz Warren
She was told from early childhood
Cherokees had intermarried
Making her their blood relation
This was really pretty common
On the plains of Oklahoma

Then she moved from Oklahoma
To the land called Massachusetts
Proud she was of being “native”
Checked the box for job at Harvard
Harvard used it in statistics
Showing they’re diverse in hiring
“Native” recipes she offered
For authentic native cookbook
Came straight from the Sunday paper

Made with crabmeat, so delicious
Cherokees would surely like them

Came to be a politician
In the land of Massachusetts
Used it running for the Senate
Criticized but didn’t waver
Stuck to her unlikely story
Evidence was not forthcoming
Didn’t matter to Progressives
She could say she hailed from Saturn
Daughter of the Loon --- elected!

Now it’s nearing 2020
Looking towards the next election
Got the nickname “Pocahontas”
Critics say the name is racist
But they really just don’t get it
“Pocahontas” isn’t racist
Only ridicules this woman
Makes good fun of old Liz Warren
When she truly does deserve it

She denies that she is running
But she says that she is native
When we know she likely isn’t
Why then should we just believe her
When she says she isn’t running?
Speaks the way they learn at Harvard
Lawyer-speak with tongue so fork-ed
Weasel words to give her leeway
Daughter of the Loon, a weasel

Now there is a DNA test
It is very inexpensive
This is based on proven science
Doesn’t lie like politicians
Doesn’t humor self-deception
Or deception of the voters
(Also tells you male or female ---
Estrogen will never change that
Nor will surgical “assignment”)

Pardon me for my digressing
We were speaking of Liz Warren

In the land of Massachusetts
Near the shining Big-Sea Water
Dwells a Presidential hopeful
Waiting for the perfect moment
To admit that she is running
Needs to quit the lame excuses
Just a drop of blood will tell it
Maybe Cherokee is in there
Maybe but I strongly doubt it

If we could all climb into our time machines and visit any day in the months leading up to Robert Mueller’s appointment, we’d find the same thing on every news channel: absolutely everyone with a “D” after his or her name going on about the need for a special counsel to investigate “Russia Russia Russia,” with a laser-beam focus on finding ties with the Trump campaign.
Americans keep trying to tell Hollywood that they have adopted a bad business model by constantly insulting at least half their potential audience, but they just don’t seem to be getting the message (an odd Achilles heel for people who are supposedly in the communications business).
Today's Commentary: The NEW YORKER puts its slant on Steele dossier -- Latest Parkland shooting doesn't restore my faith in FBI -- Hard to take anti-gun politicians seriously -- Baltimore Mayor's bias on display -- What if we left it up to Cleaver? -- Additional Mike Huckabee commentaries

Pelosi attacks ICE

March 4, 2018

Nancy Pelosi once again proved that she perfectly represents San Francisco by blasting ICE for “indiscriminately” arresting “scores of hard-working, law-abiding immigrants” in their recent raids to enforce deportations of criminal illegal aliens.
In an age when Van Jones on CNN can make comparisons of the NRA to the KKK and not be called on it, it was good to see former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice shock the women on “The View” by saying that she supports the Second Amendment because privately-owned guns saved her and her family from racists.

Hate wins

March 2, 2018

Until recently, the arts was the one place America could set aside political, geographical, racial, religious, and economic barriers and come together. If the arts community becomes part of the polarization instead of bridging communities and people over the power of civil norms as reflected in the arts, then we as a civilization may not be long for this earth.
President Trump is taking a tsunami of mockery from Democrats, Twitter trolls and late night comics for criticizing the do-nothing Broward County deputies by saying that he would have run into that school to help stop the shooter, even if he hadn’t been armed. But that apparently wasn’t just braggadocio: Someone looked into the New York Daily News archives and found a story from 1991 about how Trump saw a mugger beating someone with a baseball bat.


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Today's Commentary: Monica Lewinsky, 20 years later -- A question for liberal Governors -- Steve Scalise talks about gun control -- Trump cuts costs -- "Woke Forest" -- "It's the economy stupid." -- Additional Mike Huckabee commentaries


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It’s been 20 years since Bill Clinton ensnared himself in a legal and moral mess dubbed “the Monica Lewinsky scandal.” I always thought it should have been called “the Bill Clinton scandal,” but the Clintons had so many scandals –- about five a week, it seemed –- that we needed names to differentiate them all. For that reason, this particular scandal will always carry the name of the woman who, as a naive 22-year-old White House intern, had the misfortune of getting involved with Bill.

Lewinsky has written a thoughtful piece for VANITY FAIR that reflects her many years of self-examination and healing from the trauma she experienced. Though I might normally choose not to comment now on the choices she made 20 years ago, the fact that she has gone public with her feelings and writes so intelligently about them makes me feel that I can.


Mike Huckabee

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A question for liberal Governors

By Mike Huckabee

Monday, during a meeting of the National Governors Association at the White House, Washington Gov. Jay Inslee confronted President Trump about his strong opposition to Trump's suggestion that teachers be allowed to take training and carry concealed weapons to deter would-be school attackers. Gov. Inslee said, “Educators should educate, and they should not be foisted upon this responsibility of packing heat in first-grade classes.”

For the record, nobody is suggesting that all teachers be forced to “pack heat.” The suggestion is that teachers who qualify and volunteer for regular safety training be allowed to carry weapons. Potential attackers don’t have to think that every potential victim is armed for it to deter them; they just have to know that some are and not know which ones.

I also have another question for any liberal governors who are appalled at the idea of armed guards in schools and think having good guys with guns around would make our children less safe:

How many armed guards do you think were protecting that meeting of Governors with the President at the White House, to make sure the liberals could safely denounce armed guards without fear of being attacked?


Steve Scalise talks about gun control

By Mike Huckabee

If anyone were going to jump on the gun control bandwagon, you’d think it might be Rep. Steve Scalise, who fought for his life after being shot by a deranged leftist who was trying to kill all the Republicans at a Congressional baseball game practice. But Scalise is now back at work, and he’s strongly defending the Second Amendment.

Pointing to the many failures of government at all levels in Florida, Scalise said, “Let’s focus more on addressing these problems in mental health that we’ve started to deal with in Congress. Let’s close loopholes, let’s figure out what went wrong with government before people start talking about taking away the rights of law-abiding citizens.”

He went on to note that the reason he and his colleagues are alive today is that there happened to be armed officers on the scene (“good guys with guns”) who responded immediately. Having armed officers who actually respond immediately instead of waiting around for five minutes might also be a good starting point if we really want to prevent future shootings.


Trump cuts costs

By Mike Huckabee

President Trump has struck a deal with Boeing to build new Air Force One planes after complaining about the cost and squeezing them into taking $3.9 billion, which is $1.4 billion less than the initial estimate. That really should be the lead news item all over the media: a Washington politician haggling with a supplier to lower costs is a much more unusual news story than “Man Bites Dog” (especially right after all the South Korean Olympic coverage.)

If Trump can get Boeing to agree to cut their asking price by $1.4 billion, I’m going to ask him to go with me the next time I buy a car.


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"Woke Forest"

By Mike Huckabee

Wake Forest University is going so full “social justice warrior” left that they allow blatantly racist attacks on white conservative students that they would come down on like a bag of anvils if they targeted any other group. Maybe they should change their name to “Woke Forest.”



Ohio group targets transgender clinic

By Mike Huckabee

A group of concerned adults in Cincinnati is protesting a local clinic that they say is experimenting on minors by giving them powerful drugs with major physical side effects, drugs that are unapproved for the purpose the clinic is using them for and that have no longterm studies on the health and well-being of children exposed to them.

Oh wait: you say the clinic is giving those powerful, unapproved, unstudied drugs to transgender children to delay them entering puberty?

Well, in that case, go right on experimenting on children!...



Additional Commentaries

Florida bombshell: Armed deputy cowered outside school during shooting

Memo to Jeff Sessions

Canada revives "death panels"

The scandal runs as deep as in 1972 (UPDATED)

Mueller ups pressure on Manafort and Gates to cut a deal

ICE needs to keep it up, not pull back

My tribute to Billy Graham

Media narrative on "Russia" indictment is wrong

Is America the only place?

CIA argues it shouldn't have to comply

Sharyl Attkisson and the real story of fake news

Transgender bathroom ruling

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It’s been 20 years since Bill Clinton ensnared himself in a legal and moral mess dubbed “the Monica Lewinsky scandal.” I always thought it should have been called “the Bill Clinton scandal,” but the Clintons had so many scandals –- about five a week, it seemed –- that we needed names to differentiate them all.
We saw during the Obama years how even orders of Catholic nuns were bullied by the feds to try to force them to pay for contraceptives and abortion drugs. Now, Canada’s liberal government is showing us a new form of government overreach that may revive the much scoffed-at term, “death panels.”

Today's Commentary: For "Russia," it's the right judge at at the right time -- Mueller strays into LinkedIn territory -- Teachers flock to concealed carry permit class -- Go see the new Eastwood film -- Michael Moore attended Russian troll rally against Trump -- Doing this won't help -- Additional Mike Huckabee commentaries

Cooked gun statistics

February 17, 2018

There’s an old saying attributed to Mark Twain or Benjamin Disraeli, that there are three kinds of lies: “Lies, damned lies and statistics.” One damnably dishonest statistic that’s being quoted far and wide in the media in the wake of the tragic school shooting in Florida is a claim by the pro-gun control group “Everytown for Gun Safety” that there have been 291 school shootings in America since 2013.
America’s spy agencies have long been a source of inspiration to comedy writers, with their penchant for impenetrable doubletalk (“Get Smart,” “Dr. Strangelove,” Col. Flagg on “MASH”). But I pity the poor comedy writers struggling to come up with anything wackier than what’s actually being floated in federal court by the CIA.
The White House press secretary (full disclosure: I know her pretty well) explained the discrepancy between claims that the FBI informed the White House of allegations of domestic abuse against former aide Rob Porter earlier than reported and the White House’s claim that they accepted his resignation just 24 hours after learning about them.

Olympic gold medalist Shaun White acquitted himself pretty well after allowing the American flag to drag behind him on the snow as he walked from the medal ceremony.

Wow, we didn’t want to see that. At the same time, it’s certainly understandable that with the thrill of the win and the need to juggle heavy gloves and more –- he didn’t win the gold for juggling, after all –- he might have accidentally let the flag slip from his grasp and drag on the snow without realizing it. Still, it would have been nice for him to remember at his moment of glory that he had just won for the USA and to take pride in holding that flag as high as he could. Some took to Twitter to ream him out six ways from Sunday for disrespecting the flag, but others sympathized. And his apology did seem genuine.

“I remember being handed the flag,” he said, “but I was trying to put on my gloves and hold the flag and get the board. Honestly, if there was anything, I definitely didn’t mean any disrespect." He added, “The flag that’s flying on my house right now is way up there.”

I’ll bet somebody went over there right away to check.

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I’d like to think that this isn’t one more example of Americans taking for granted the freedoms symbolized by the Stars & Stripes. We’ve seen way too much disrespect, and it's getting worse in some corners of our land. But in this case, it doesn’t really seem to be that. I hope Shaun --- and every one of us --- realizes that if he’d been part of the North Korean team and had disrespected his nation’s flag on the world stage like that, he would have been summarily stood up against a wall and shot. His family, too. After brutal torture. Yay, USA!