We Watch The Oscars So You Don't Have To

February 25, 2019 |

Last night at the Oscars…Oh, who cares?  You didn’t watch it, and neither did I. 

Fortunately, I have someone on staff who did.  I say on the “Huckabee” TV show that “We read the news so you won’t have to.”  Well, our staff writer and resident pop culture historian Pat Reeder (http://www.facebook.com/hollywoodhifibook ) watched the Oscars so I wouldn’t have to.  We all salute him for his sacrifice.  Here’s his report:

* * * *

Full disclosure: even though I’m a lifelong movie fan, I’ve fallen out of watching the Oscars in recent years.  Last year, “Best Picture” went to what I call “The Porn Parody of ‘Creature from the Black Lagoon.’” This year, I didn’t think anything up for the top honor even deserved a nomination.  We had a comic book movie, the fourth remake of “A Star is Born,” a movie in Spanish that made me check my watch three times, a wildly inaccurate rock bio-pic, a political hatchet job on a Republican made by people who have never met one, more typically heavy-handed racial agitprop from Spike Lee, etc.  These aren’t Oscar material, they’re the kind of titles you see on the marquee when the Simpsons go to the multiplex.  It was “the best in film” the way the Grammy Awards represent “the best in music”: the crossroads of commercial popularity, connections, big corporate backing, pop culture trendiness and left-wing “wokeness” (and by that, I don’t mean the audience was still awake by the end of either.)  


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I hadn’t planned to watch it, but my sister-in-law invited us to dinner and served it front of her giant-screen TV.  So I brought a stack of papers and worked on my taxes while it dragged on. Nothing gives you perspective like listening to wealthy celebrities extol the virtues of massive government while doing your taxes.  

I braced for the usual limousine liberal palaver and got it: the anti-Trump joke right up front; the depiction by Spike Lee of modern America as a place where little progress has been made on race relations since 1860 (you’d think the KKK was back in full force, though even the SPLC, famous for its wild exaggeration of “hate group” numbers, admits the Klan is collapsing with current national membership at 8,000 tops out of a population of 325 million); and the endless, self-congratulatory, moral virtue-signaling from an industry that’s made more news in the past year for covering up rape, sexual harassment and child molestation, backing hoax hate crimes and promoting infanticide than for making good movies. 

Personally, I can live without watching people in $50,000 designer gowns and $250,000 worth of jewelry lecture construction workers, farmers and ranchers about being blind to their own privilege.  Or celebrities who left their gated mansions under armed guard to travel to a theater with heavier security than Area 51 tell the rest of us that walls and guns are immoral and should be banned.  Or scold the rest of us for not embracing immigrants -- even though we do embrace immigrants.  They can’t or won’t grasp that immigrants and illegal border crossers are not the same thing.  I bet if illegal immigrants could take away the jobs of actors, directors and studio executives instead of working as their cheap domestic help, they would suddenly get it and start building a wall themselves.  Or at least order their P.A.’s to do it. 

Some twitter warriors who have President Trump living in their heads 24/7 also apparently have his hair in their heads, too.  They were triggered by the swirl design of the stage set because it reminded them of Trump’s hairdo.  I am not making this up.  The no-doubt panicked stage designer babbled defensively that it was meant to represent “inclusion and humanity, femininity and beauty,” but everyone in Hollywood claims their work is about “inclusion,” even the crafts services people.  I’ll bet the soft-serve ice cream reminds liberals of Trump’s hair, too.   

https://nypost.com/2019/02/24/the-oscars-stage-this-year-strongly-resembles-donald-trumps-hair/

Spike Lee made a movie that associated Trump with neo-Nazis, so of course, he had to get an Oscar.  But he reportedly had a hissy fit when “Green Book” won Best Picture instead of his movie.  He’s been whining for 20 years about “Do The Right Thing” losing to “Driving Miss Daisy,” and once again, he lost to a period piece about a black person and a white person sharing a car in the South.  Not satisfied with an undeserved “Best Adapted Screenplay/Okay, Shut Up Already” Oscar for his ham-handed script, Lee reportedly stormed up the aisle, then came back and rudely stood with his back to the stage, refusing to acknowledge the winner.  Boy, liberals can’t handle any contests that don’t go their way.  He’s probably already organizing a resistance movement to refuse to accept “Green Book” as the legitimate “Best Picture” winner.  Maybe he could get Robert Mueller to investigate whether Russians hacked the Oscar voting.  

https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/spike-lee-furious-when-green-book-won-best-picture-oscar-attempted-to-storm-out-of-theater

Okay, enough carping.  Here are the positives: Not having a host actually made it a little shorter, and hence, slightly less annoying.  The first five minutes were cool, if you like Queen.  But I bet you could watch that online without having to sit through nearly four hours of boredom and politics.  Oh yeah, here it is! 

https://youtu.be/XwbCfVEB5EM

Just saved you 3 hours and 40 minutes. You’re welcome.

Finally, big plus: it was still so long that I almost finished doing my taxes. 

Here’s the complete list of winners, if you care.  I know you’ll want the name of that documentary winner about menstruation so you can add it to your Netflix queue.  Again, you’re welcome.  Now, don’t ask me to do this again for at least another year.

https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/oscars-2019-winners-list

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Comments 1-25 of 26

  • Linda Boudreaux

    06/30/2019 06:50 PM

    Thank you for watching the Oscars for me because I have not had the stomach to watch for many years due to the one-sided, extreme political views. I do not watch the great majority of the movies anyway for the same reason. That being said, your commentary on this devolved award show was hilarious. I belly laughed all the way thru. Unfair, Huckabee, Hollywood is such an easy target! Please don't stop.

    I love your TV show. News, humor, and interesting guests.

  • Kathy Humphrey

    02/27/2019 10:15 AM

    Haven't watched in years as I don't like throwing up my dinner! But your story gave me a laugh... I'm picturing a Spike Lee and Kanye collaboration somewhere in the future ??

  • Debby Flowers

    02/26/2019 10:21 PM

    So glad u watch and report so I don’t have to so so. To tell the truth I don’t even need to listen to your report. It’s just as I thought it would be. They r totally out of touch with the rest of us and actually think we want and care about their opinions! They are paid entertainers so ACT like it. Thanks for your review!

  • vanessa walters

    02/26/2019 05:41 PM

    I quit 'Hollywood' awards shows a LONG time ago; the fashions/the expensive bling/blah, blah, blah..the newscastors DROOLING over all this, the morning after..who cares? Who really cares? If you want REAL drama, keep tabs on the Methodist Special Conference in St. Louis, Mo; over keeping the bans or lifting them, over the LGBTQIA folks who want same sex marriages/same sex pastor couples..This is already an uproar in progress..and it aint over with yet, folks. The main delegates have voted to keep the bans in place, but the LGBTQIA folks have already caused uproars during the conference. Don't be surprised, if a Methodist denomination split occurs. All in the name of diversity/love!! BARF!!

  • Diane Feigin

    02/26/2019 03:24 PM

    Wonderful piece. I enjoyed reading it. I found it super refreshing. Well Done! & Thank You.

  • Jerry Korba

    02/26/2019 02:46 PM

    Mike I have written that we should leave the Media alone for a while to listen to the misfits like Nadler Feinstein Harris Booker Pelosi Schumer Blumenthal I wonder does he really remember Viet Nam wonder if he is having flashbacks Menendez he really intrigues me Mr. Ethics, and the rest of the Misfits these people have no interest in America with the exception of what it can squeeze from her. I have a tip for the readers when they just don't want to be disgusted by having the garbage spit at them by the Media. I wish you would recommend The Danish National Symphony Orchestra live the music is not only wonderful but they play the theme music to movies great performance real music and artist; Ever wonder who play the music for The Good Bad and the Ugly,Fistful of Dollars,The Godfather.ect watch them perform you will forget about those miserable Misfits if only for awhile. Spike Lee WHO? Forget about him a loser.

  • Wendy Brion

    02/26/2019 12:41 PM

    My husband and I watched the Oscar's first the first time in several years. We tuned in to watch Queen...well, Brian May and Roger Taylor. And then we kept watching because for the first time in many years it wasn't a liberal love fest. It wasn't perfect, but they actually focused more on the movies and the craft.
    As for the films in contention for the top honor...for a change they had movies people actually watched. I only saw two...Black Panther and Bohemian Rhapsody...and in my opinion both deserved the honor. Black Panther might "only" be a comic book story, but it was a STORY. Well told, presented in an accessible way, with excellent acting, effects, etc. Marvel has made the comic book movie genre a force to be reckoned with, and I thank them.
    Bohemian Rhapsody was also extremely well done. My husband, who keenly remembers Freddie's story, especially loved it. Out of necessity, movies truncate and condense things...they have 2-3 hours to tell decades of story. Which is why the promotional material says "based on the life..." It is a heartbreaking story of how a man with so much talent and so much to give destroyed himself because he bought into a lie...several of them, in fact.
    So, while the Academy Awards will never be perfect...they were worth watching this year. There was a lot of talent rightly honored and a lot of films recognized for being fun and/or interesting to watch (Star Wars, Ready Player One, The Incredibles and Bao were some of my favorites. )

  • Chuck Walter

    02/26/2019 12:20 PM

    Wasn’t Oscar on Sesame Street?

  • Jackie Zuraw

    02/26/2019 10:24 AM

    Well done. You made my day!

  • Jennifer Schneider

    02/26/2019 07:39 AM

    Awesome write up! This just made my morning. I refuse to watch any awards with one exception, CMA, they stick to what theydo best, entertainment.

  • Martha Mongovin

    02/25/2019 09:04 PM

    I saw 2 movies this year. One starred Melissa McCarthy, the other Glenn Close. Both were excellent and I was sure one of those actresses would win. So I sat through nearly 3 hours of boring stuff by people many of whom I never heard of before. Alas, neither of my favorites won. I was esp disappointed that Miss Close was overlooked for the 9th time. I agree with everything you have in your message. It was an absolute waste of time. I must be the only person in the US who doesn’t enjoy or admire Miss Gaga. The one performer I did enjoy was Bette Midler. I long for the times when hosts of the caliber of Billy Crystal were masters of ceremonies. No politics,no racism.No wonder viewership is reduced. Next year I will do what I usually do in prime time ie read!

  • Debra Bradley

    02/25/2019 08:20 PM

    We didn’t watch but somehow I managed to catch all the gory details this morning. You are a braver person than me.

  • Debra Bradley

    02/25/2019 08:20 PM

    We didn’t watch but somehow I managed to catch all the gory details this morning. You are a braver person than me.

  • Linda Dannenberg

    02/25/2019 06:09 PM

    Thanks for the great article! I did watch but cringed at a lot of it. I was only interested in the musical performances. I miss the old Hollywood and the elegant stars. Movies nowadays aren’t worth watching. I can’t stand the hypocrisy of the elites in Hollywood. Do as I say, not as I do!!! One funny point was the upset for Best Actress....did you see that gold dress Glenn Close wore? Talk about being sure of yourself!! I’ll bet she is regretting that choice today!! Awkward!

  • Deanne Ruble

    02/25/2019 05:43 PM

    Hi,
    I just want to say that I could care less about watching any of our entertainers awards shows anymore, except for country music awards shows ??????. Those are great and actually entertaining!
    I had gotten a little turned off with all the glitz and glamour of all the Hollywood entertainers but then when the political comments started coming I had no use for it.....and sadly it’s tainted my opinion of several actors and actresses that I used to like.
    I like your commentaries and respect your opinions.
    God bless you and your family; especially daughter Sarah. She is one tough, super lady. I have Great respect for her as well.
    Deanne Ruble

  • Edwin Allman

    02/25/2019 04:56 PM

    Absolutely hilarious! Pat Reeder and Huckabee are heroes.

  • Edwin Allman

    02/25/2019 04:56 PM

    Absolutely hilarious! Pat Reeder and Huckabee are heroes.

  • Laura Ainsworth

    02/25/2019 04:37 PM

    I was there, too --- it was my sister who graciously invited us over for dinner, and we all watched with rolling eyes. I suffer through this show every year just to see the fashion, which is often beautiful but can be as ridiculously expensive and impractical as a socialist resolution introduced by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Honestly, between the 6-inch heels and the tight, slit skirts, some winners can't even get up the stairs without assistance to accept their awards. I like to watch them stumble or awkwardly try to pull the fabric closed, and I also know how much their feet must hurt. So that part of it is kind of fun. How I detest limousine liberalism.

  • Jerry Holland

    02/25/2019 04:35 PM

    Why is the GOP and RNC so inept at communicating their message on socialism, immigration, border security, and a barrier? It's not rocket science. By ads all over MSM and explain it.
    A simple ad showing clips of Schumer, Obama, Pelosi, and the Clinton's making speeches about how we need a wall and immigration reform, followed by President Trump touting his wall/barrier is simple to make and easy enough that even a liberal would get it.
    The same thing could be done on socialism with Venezuela, and facts showing that Scandinavian countries are not socialist.
    Ads showing the baby killer governor of VA are easy enough to do too.
    And yet, we see nothing from the GOP and RNC running on MSM.
    Democratics and the DNC continue to destroy conservatives in marketing their message. Sad.

  • Gail Casucci

    02/25/2019 03:59 PM

    Thanks for the commentary. And got your sacrifice. I’ve not watched this clown fest in years. And I see I’ve missed nothing but the same ol “what’s good for me is not for thee” liberal BS!!! ????????????????????

  • Gwenda Brewer

    02/25/2019 03:47 PM

    What little I watched was making a big deal out of Spanish language and films. Pretty obvious that they protested the Presidents stand on immigration. It was like watching a program from another country. Nothing about it appeared familiar or American.

  • Gwenda Brewer

    02/25/2019 03:46 PM

    What little I watched was making a big deal out of Spanish language and films. Pretty obvious that they protested the Presidents stand on immigration. It was like watching a program from another country. Nothing about it appeared familiar or American.

  • Mark Volatile

    02/25/2019 03:45 PM

    Thank you for sparing us the agony of watching that mess.

  • Gretchen Grant

    02/25/2019 03:22 PM

    Can't honestly remember the last time I watched the Oscars, back in the 80's????? Can't say I've missed a thing. There was a wonderful documentary on PBS just before the Oscars. It was on the life of Sammy Davis Jr. What a mega talent! Where has all that talent gone???? Not to the Oscars.

  • Julie Craft

    02/25/2019 02:42 PM

    Thank you so much the info on the Oscars to confirm why we watch so little TV and no longer go to movies! So tired of the actors giving themselves awards several times a year and thinking they are above everyone else in the world. If everyone quit paying attention to these folks and quit going to movies, they'd have to find real jobs like the rest of the population. I caught up on some sleep and for the first time in several years, don't have to extend my taxes - they're in process!